Some questions for thought:
what happens when we surrender to the moment of - love? marriage? life?
without reason without boundary without thought of identity
what happens when we take future measures into account?
what is that part of our self identity that accepts or denies a person, a place, an idea?
how do we listen to our hearts and find g-d within it all - everyone- jewish or non jewish.
I am a product of an intermarriage. My mom is Jewish and my father is gentile. According to Jewish law, I was always Jewish, although I was raised Christian (church, Xmas, Easter, etc.). As an adult, I started practicing Judaism. I no longer consider myself a Christian, I see myself as Jewish.
I recently got out of a relationship with a gentile man (non religious Catholic) and I saw that spiritually we were in opposite directions. My ex boyfriend, who is Catholic had no problem with me raising them Jewish but he said that I would have to do it on my own. I would like to marry a Jewish man someday who shares the same religious beliefs as I do. It is important to me that I could raise my children with my spouse as Jews.
My concern is that possibly I will not be seen as “Jewish enough” to marry a Jew (because I was not raised Jewish) but too Jewish to marry a gentile.
If the existence of the Jewish people is IMPORTANT to you, do you think that intermarriage supports that importance? Statistically, products of intermarriage have only a 25% chance of marrying Jews. What difference does it make if Jews exist? Do we make a difference to the planet as Jews? If other people want to destroy us as Jews, we all agree that is WRONG. Is it okay, then, if we wish to destroy ourselves as Jews, is that okay? The argument in favour of the Jewish people is that we civilized the world. We still have a long way to go, but we are the source of a moral imperative, so much so that Hitler said we put two stains on humanity: circumcision & conscience.
Studying Judaism in a deep way makes one think about options for improving humanity & that is what we have historically done for mankind.
INTRA-marriage helps support this Jewish obligation, INTER-marriage has historically destroyed it.
Also, if there is a G-d running the show & He gave us instructions, isn’t that worth exploring? Is there EVIDENCE that there is a G-d & that He gave us instructions? If there IS such evidence, then isn’t ignoring that evidence like a smoker ignoring evidence that smoking is unhealthy?
Is intermarriage RESPONSIBLE? Is putting one’s personal comfort before his G-d/religion, children’s well-being RESPONSIBLE? Are there children of intermarriage who were HURT from their parents’ intermarriage?
Its difficult….
Judaisme is not just a religion, its much more then that, there many non-believing Jews feeling very connected to Judaisme in other ways then religion.
I think its very personal, depends on what u urself expect from ur partner and what u expect from live. On the other hand u can not expect others to have not an opinion about it, as u already notice in the video. Because they will have different valuesystems and beliefs and care too.
I agree with the one guy in the video that mixed mariages bring also good future Jews. But it can also work the other way around, to many non-interested ´new´ Jews can be a threath to the future of jewish culture.
Its always good to talk about ur personal situation with other people, and the community u belong to(if u are attending one). They have to accept it as well and give a statement about the position of the children when the mother wont be jewish.
The whole question of whether intermarriage is a problem is a bit useless to ask. If you feel strongly about your religion, it will matter to you and you won’t intermarry; if you don’t, it won’t matter and you might intermarry. Everything else, including parental/family approval is just outside influence.
A gentleman in the video mentioned that his father, as a result of his membership in an organization of rabbis, cannot attend his wedding if he intermarries. If that was my father, I would feel that he valued his membership in that organization above his relationship with me, that the group he had joined had successfully supplanted his wish for my happiness with a dogmatic need to follow the rules that it prescribes.
Love is a choice… Life is sweeter when you choose to honor your heritage and commitments to you family and god. If you can not honor your commitments to your family whom have been with you your entire life how can you expect to be able to honor your commitment to your new spouse..
I think the only way it can work is if the non-Jewish spouse is not committed to any faith and is open to Judaism. They may not be willing to convert or identify themselves as Jewish, but they certainly can’t have commitment to their own religion nor be philosophically opposed to raising children as Jews.
Love is powerful but you need more than just love for a successful marriage, particularly when kids are involved. Marriage is about a deep partnership and an agreement on which traditions to infuse the home with and which values and story to teach the children. Life is confusing enough as it is. Love is more available than people think.
hmm, i don’t think religious beliefs are important. maybe because im non-religious, but if i ever fell in love with someone that thought differently i would accept it.
March 18th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
author should right a second blog, it’s wonder!
November 12th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
0dy620tjq8vu1dpr
March 12th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
Some questions for thought:
what happens when we surrender to the moment of - love? marriage? life?
without reason without boundary without thought of identity
what happens when we take future measures into account?
what is that part of our self identity that accepts or denies a person, a place, an idea?
how do we listen to our hearts and find g-d within it all - everyone- jewish or non jewish.
March 11th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
I am a product of an intermarriage. My mom is Jewish and my father is gentile. According to Jewish law, I was always Jewish, although I was raised Christian (church, Xmas, Easter, etc.). As an adult, I started practicing Judaism. I no longer consider myself a Christian, I see myself as Jewish.
I recently got out of a relationship with a gentile man (non religious Catholic) and I saw that spiritually we were in opposite directions. My ex boyfriend, who is Catholic had no problem with me raising them Jewish but he said that I would have to do it on my own. I would like to marry a Jewish man someday who shares the same religious beliefs as I do. It is important to me that I could raise my children with my spouse as Jews.
My concern is that possibly I will not be seen as “Jewish enough” to marry a Jew (because I was not raised Jewish) but too Jewish to marry a gentile.
January 31st, 2008 at 9:32 pm
when you marry outside youre religion and have children then the jewish
neshama is in conflict with the other religion neshama
December 20th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
If the existence of the Jewish people is IMPORTANT to you, do you think that intermarriage supports that importance? Statistically, products of intermarriage have only a 25% chance of marrying Jews. What difference does it make if Jews exist? Do we make a difference to the planet as Jews? If other people want to destroy us as Jews, we all agree that is WRONG. Is it okay, then, if we wish to destroy ourselves as Jews, is that okay? The argument in favour of the Jewish people is that we civilized the world. We still have a long way to go, but we are the source of a moral imperative, so much so that Hitler said we put two stains on humanity: circumcision & conscience.
Studying Judaism in a deep way makes one think about options for improving humanity & that is what we have historically done for mankind.
INTRA-marriage helps support this Jewish obligation, INTER-marriage has historically destroyed it.
Also, if there is a G-d running the show & He gave us instructions, isn’t that worth exploring? Is there EVIDENCE that there is a G-d & that He gave us instructions? If there IS such evidence, then isn’t ignoring that evidence like a smoker ignoring evidence that smoking is unhealthy?
Is intermarriage RESPONSIBLE? Is putting one’s personal comfort before his G-d/religion, children’s well-being RESPONSIBLE? Are there children of intermarriage who were HURT from their parents’ intermarriage?
December 17th, 2007 at 4:27 pm
Its difficult….
Judaisme is not just a religion, its much more then that, there many non-believing Jews feeling very connected to Judaisme in other ways then religion.
I think its very personal, depends on what u urself expect from ur partner and what u expect from live. On the other hand u can not expect others to have not an opinion about it, as u already notice in the video. Because they will have different valuesystems and beliefs and care too.
I agree with the one guy in the video that mixed mariages bring also good future Jews. But it can also work the other way around, to many non-interested ´new´ Jews can be a threath to the future of jewish culture.
Its always good to talk about ur personal situation with other people, and the community u belong to(if u are attending one). They have to accept it as well and give a statement about the position of the children when the mother wont be jewish.
October 10th, 2007 at 1:02 pm
The whole question of whether intermarriage is a problem is a bit useless to ask. If you feel strongly about your religion, it will matter to you and you won’t intermarry; if you don’t, it won’t matter and you might intermarry. Everything else, including parental/family approval is just outside influence.
A gentleman in the video mentioned that his father, as a result of his membership in an organization of rabbis, cannot attend his wedding if he intermarries. If that was my father, I would feel that he valued his membership in that organization above his relationship with me, that the group he had joined had successfully supplanted his wish for my happiness with a dogmatic need to follow the rules that it prescribes.
October 7th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
Love is a choice… Life is sweeter when you choose to honor your heritage and commitments to you family and god. If you can not honor your commitments to your family whom have been with you your entire life how can you expect to be able to honor your commitment to your new spouse..
September 18th, 2007 at 9:20 pm
Marriage is difficult enough without having different religious beliefs to contend with.
September 18th, 2007 at 2:28 pm
I think the only way it can work is if the non-Jewish spouse is not committed to any faith and is open to Judaism. They may not be willing to convert or identify themselves as Jewish, but they certainly can’t have commitment to their own religion nor be philosophically opposed to raising children as Jews.
September 14th, 2007 at 9:36 am
Love is powerful but you need more than just love for a successful marriage, particularly when kids are involved. Marriage is about a deep partnership and an agreement on which traditions to infuse the home with and which values and story to teach the children. Life is confusing enough as it is. Love is more available than people think.
September 13th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
I see how religious beliefs are important, but they should definitely not be a deal-breaker. Love should be the most important thing, not religion.
September 13th, 2007 at 3:03 pm
hmm, i don’t think religious beliefs are important. maybe because im non-religious, but if i ever fell in love with someone that thought differently i would accept it.
September 13th, 2007 at 1:43 pm
I think shared religious beliefs is very important to a life long relationship commitment.